I have a Fergie Cat in mind, her name is Jennymanyfrocks;

Her coat is of Designer kind, her face is fringed with ginger locks.

All day she lounges on the beach or on the ski slopes in Zermatt:

She sits and sits and sits and sits - and that's what makes a Fergie Cat!

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,

Then the Fergie Cat's work is but hardly begun.

When the telegram says that the kids are in bed,

She makes all the calls that the journalists dread.

She is deeply concerned with the ways of the Press -

Their morals are little and their manners are less;

So she lines up the reps from the broadsheets and comics,

And gives them a lesson in Home Economics.

I have a Fergie Cat in mind, her name is Jennymanyfrocks;

She likes each morning to unwind with Vichy water on the rocks.

All day she sits beside the pool or on her Cosy Cushion mat:

She sits and sits and sits and sits - and that's what makes a Fergie Cat!

But when the day's hustle and bustle is done,

Then the Fergie Cat's work is but hardly begun.

She thinks her allowance will need supplementing

To save her from idle and wanton lamenting.

So she's formed a new business by which you can lease

Her big toes for sucking at a shilling apiece.

With a purpose in life she'll be rich again soon -

And she's even created a Budgie Cartoon.

So for Old Fergie Cats let us now give three cheers -

On whom well-ordered households depend, it appears.

Click button to return to contents

Click button to return to main page