I once had a strange little doll, dears,

She squawked when I pressed on her sternum;

The funniest sounds in the world, dears,

Few people could ever discern 'em.

I swore to be kind to my doll, dears,

And never to leave her alone;

But I threw her away in the Thames, dears,

When she started to squawk on her own.

I found my strange little doll, dears,

She surfaced near Westminster Bridge;

And the water had not in the least, dears,

Extinguished her weird verbiage.

And now we can hear it each day, dears,

As much as a fellow can stand;

For she sits on a bench in the Lords, dears,

And squawks with the best in the land.

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